I am so seperated in this world, its cold and lonley, I hate the way people judge me. I want to get out of Vegas someday, mabey I will move back to EngLand... My home <3. Mabey somebody will take me by the hand and lead me away some place I can call home. What defines a person? is it age? I am told well remided so often how young I am, turned away because of suspected in-expierience, it kills me. I have never fallen in love becuase of somebodys age, never fell out of it either due to an age limit. I have been through so much... the past though grusome fuels a creative flame, a beautiful muse, it carries me through surging crowds, beyond tree, and white nosie. I wake up in the night terrified by the sirens in my head, the post traumatic stress causes me to think i hear sirens... bomb sirens not like the kind on a police car or a fire engine... the kind that stirs up such pain, the worst part is... waking up alone... knowing your... thinking your alone under your quilt, laying in hte darkness, it shrouds you, the emptiness...

I wish I wasnt so.... Empty... or alone I guess.... hmmm

I once heard somebody say, "In the end all a person really has is themselves...:"

I pray that isnt true.... i dont want to fall asleep laying in my tears everynight, I want to fall asleep in compassionate arms, in the gaze of tender eyes, a kiss goodnight by lusting lips.
I wish I could be somebody that another craves, yearns, itches for... I think I found him but who can ever tell. I want to love.

Wish I didnt have to linger....